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Shaping a career change

Erik Kautner (name changed) is very good at his job, is well-placed in his career but feels that his dynamic rubs people up the wrong way and that his ideas are not implemented by superiors and colleagues. He decides to undergo “personal coaching” and thereby gains extraordinary insights. A practical case study

reported by Lydia Thea Blau.

Some people might think: “Coaching? What for? If I did that, I would be admitting that I was unable to progress on my own!”

Others use the opportunity to exchange with a sparring partner who views the situation from the outside and – armed with insight into human nature and expert knowledge – is able to pose good questions, give valuable tips and suggestions and discuss possible solutions. Many people wonder how a typical coaching session proceeds. The answer is that there is no “typical” coaching journey. Every experience is different. A coach needs to employ a wide range of methods, questioning techniques and intervention options in order to successfully accompany the coachee on his developmental journey. Coaches vary their methods of intervention according to theme, personality of the coachee and task – and this is always done on the bedrock of many years’ experience and profound, psychologically based insight into human nature.

The following case represents a practical example and shows a few common tools at the coach’s disposal. The primary intention is to present the crucial steps in the coaching process rather than record the conversations in all their detail.

Lack of confidence in performance and powers of persuasion

“My manager assures me that overall I am doing an excellent job. But at the same time, I keep rubbing colleagues up the wrong way. He advises me to hold back a little with my suggestions at times. It’s just that my ideas are important. They push the company forward and I have already proved this several times. Well, I’m probably not diplomatic enough.”

With these words Erik Kautner presents his situation to me during our first telephone conversation. He would like to use coaching to find out how to more effectively convey his ideas for the company to the man, i.e. his superiors but also to his peers on the same level. At the same time, he would like to work generally on his performance skills, his powers of persuasion and his personal impact. He explains that his presentations sometimes come across as rather formal and dry and that he would like to introduce a fresher and more lively quality to them. I ask him which criteria he would use to judge the success of his coaching experience. I like to pose this question at the outset in order to get a clearer idea of the objective and also to better measure the result. “I would consider the process successful firstly if I had good feedback from my presentations and secondly if I knew how to make a suggestion in such a way that it is accepted or at least taken into consideration,” Erik Kautner replies. This answer satisfies me to begin with. We will refine the objective at our first meeting.

The pleasant impression I gained from our telephone conversation is confirmed when I meet Mr Kautner. A tall, slim young man with an open face and a disarming smile stands before me. He has carved a steep career path at a medium-sized bank and has become an area manager at barely 31 years of age. Although his employees are significantly older than him, he gets on well with them. In any case, he has already notched up twelve years’ experience. The bank allowed him to study for an economics degree alongside his job and he chose the topic of risk management as his specialism. Considerable talent, hard work and an amazingly sharp long-term vision enabled him to save the bank from making wrong decisions, with the consequence that it was not affected by the American property crash. This was another factor that accelerated his career.

Beware internal question marks!

After agreeing the exact objectives for our first appointment, we begin. To start with, we focus on the personal impression he makes in presentation situations. I switch on the video camera and Erik Kautner shows me a typical presentation to the board of directors, in which he highlights market risks and possible next steps. Our analysis of the video makes it clear to him that he can improve his performance by moving about less and emphasising his statements with gestures.

After that, we do a few “dry runs” without the video running, in order to practise gestures until they feel natural and I, as his “director”, am satisfied. It is important that if the coachee is to change his behaviour, he feels that it is appropriate and authentic. Sometimes this only comes off by working on the corresponding message and the internal mindset, which of course has a tangible external influence. In this case, however, it does not seem necessary at first, as Erik Kautner responds well to the behavioural tips and is able to adapt and integrate them.

The next aspect to consider is his tone of voice. Mostly, this is about how to lower the voice at the end of a sentence; and he is slowly getting a feeling of how to emphasise his statements with his inflection. Placing a mental exclamation mark adds weight to a sentence: “We simply must take this matter into consideration!” rather than – usually unintentionally – placing an imaginary question mark: “We simply must take this matter into consideration?” The addition of an imaginary question mark has the effect of raising the voice at the end of the sentence rather than lowering it. Very few public speakers are aware that they sprinkle their messages with many small question marks by using this kind of speech pattern, thereby indirectly questioning their own ideas. However, they do realise that raising their voice at the end does not bring the statement to a close and therefore continue to add clauses, which leads to run-on sentences. So it is with Mr Kautner who then puts these suggestions into practice with surprising speed. In the second video recording, he already appears far more confident and at the same time more animated. We also refine his powerpoint designs and work on the structure of his process of reasoning. After that, a visibly content coachee sits in front of me. Our collaboration has got off to a good start.

The matter of “positive suggestions”

In our second meeting, we address Erik Kautner’s main issue. “I would like my ideas to be taken as positive suggestions – and of course, I would be pleased if they were implemented,” he explains as he sits opposite me, looking a little tense. I ask him to describe a typical situation that we can then simulate in a role play, so that I can obtain a tangible picture of the way in which he communicates his ideas. He quickly finds an example. I adopt the role of the chief human resources officer who operates at one level above Mr. Kautner. The latter has asked for an appointment. The topic will be the ongoing internal Assessment Center.

After a brief greeting, I (playing the chief HR officer) invite him to take a seat and sit down behind my desk. In front of me I now have a young and frowning colleague who proceeds to explain to me in a lively and eloquent manner that our Assessment Process is no longer up to date. He enthusiastically outlines how the whole process could be improved. As coach, I go deeper into my role as personnel manager and notice how irritated I feel that a young manager who has absolutely nothing to do with my area of expertise and who isn’t even personally affected by the Assessment Center is now presenting his ideas so seriously and emphatically. As if I had never given thought to the matter myself…

The “aha” experience in the role play

What I would really like to do is to give Mr. Kautner a paternal pat on the back and say ”Young man, leave the matter to me”, thus bringing the meeting to a friendly close. And this is precisely what I now do. “That’s exactly how he reacted!” my coachee explodes as I, still in role, accompany him to the door. “He was strangely reserved, in fact even a bit dismissive. ‘We are taking care of this, don’t you worry about it!’ he said. And ushered me out of his office.”

“Hm…As you can see, I felt the same when I was in role and I’m now wondering why you feel so passionately about this topic,” I declare. “You came across as very committed, even though this affects you neither in your area of work nor personally.”

“Oh, but nevertheless I’m continually thinking of ways to improve everything in the company,” he explains. “I’ve already written eighty pages describing all sorts of ideas for improvement in all possible areas.”

“And these eighty pages of ideas…what has happened to them? Or what do you intend to do with them?” I ask.

“I have tried to sell them to the relevant people but usually I’m stonewalled. And then I have to watch as some things go wrong.”

Erik Kautner then describes several bad incidents and failures which could have been avoided if anyone had listened to him. I discover that the previous chief officer had often consulted with him and had very much valued his input.

“But the new chief officer, a long-serving colleague, stonewalls,” Erik Kautner comments, visibly disappointed.

I return to our role play and this time, invite him to try taking on the role of the chief HR officer. I then take Erik Kautner’s part and behave in the way that I had observed. While in role, I also try to imitate as closely as possible his serious and enthusiastic tone of voice. As I animatedly put forward my ideas for the new AC, he looks at me – still in role as the chief HR officer – in a very reserved and thoughtful way. Next he stands up and says slowly, “I think I understand. I come across as rather presumptuous.” I nod. The penny has dropped.

Questions rather than demands… a step-by-step approach

An outsider is immediately able to recognise traits of which the protagonist is unaware, being so caught up in himself. That is why it is very worthwhile if he takes a look at himself from the outside and asks: What am I actually doing there and how is it perceived by the other person? This is why playing the antagonist’s role often leads to significant breakthroughs.

Erik Kautner now realises that his tone of voice was rather demanding and impatient, which was inappropriate to the situation. “My goodness,” he says repeatedly. “Now some things are becoming clearer to me…”

“Such as…?” I ask carefully and leave him time for reflection. He describes a few more similar situations in which he antagonised people and says, sighing,”I suppose I would be better off keeping my mouth shut then”.

“Not necessarily,” I counter. “Let’s go back to the last situation. And let’s assume that it was extremely important to you to convey this idea for a better Assessment Procedure. How could you proceed instead?”

There follows an animated dialogue in which we discuss all possible scenarios, simulate and finally assess these in terms of their practicality and prospect of success. The following is the winning option: Erik Kautner gets talking to the chief HR officer in an informal setting and asks in passing what advantage the current Assessment Procedure holds. Thereby, he enters into a stimulating discussion in which initially he just asks questions, such as which improvements are being planned. Then, in the flow of conversation, he can introduce his own proposals.

“That’s a convincing strategy,” Mr. Kautner explains. “If I follow the dictum ‘Better to enquire than to suggest’, I have a better chance of being heard. In other words: this is more about asking and taking a subtle approach than presenting and submitting.”

By now his voice is sounding a little tired, so I ask him, “How do you feel about this kind of approach?”

A wholly new perspective

He answers in a thoughtful and almost slightly angry tone, “Yes, of course I could proceed like that. Naturally, I also recognise that these are not my areas in need of improvement and that really I’m meddling in matters that are not mine. But I can’t help it. And I realise that I find it extremely hard to come up with my suggestions in such a restrained way. You see, I don’t really want to be the one who knocks on the door and makes careful suggestions – I would like to be asked myself. I would like to be needed with my ideas and improvement proposals!”

I notice that we are now on the trail of an important topic. “Such a solid and conservatively structured bank simply has other values,” I interject.

“Precisely. Sometimes I wonder whether I am in the right place at all.”

Aha! I look questioningly at my partner in dialogue, while his face gradually lights up. “Yes, you know, a year ago I introduced myself to a young consultancy firm…and they even wanted me!”

“And then?” I ask.

“Everybody made a big fuss when I talked about it, saying how could I give up the secure and highly paid bank job for a job in a young company that is only moderately well-paid and also insecure?”

“Who is ‘everyone’?”

“Well…” (after a long pause), “my parents mostly”.

“And you? What were your thoughts?”

“I felt good about it. But my parents were strongly against it and went on and on to me about it for a whole weekend”.

“Caring parents want their son to have security and earn good money. And it is also understandable,” I continue, “that a good son does not want his parents to worry about him.” I observe the conflict in his face. Sometimes it is important not to take the opposing standpoint too early (“Oh come on! You’re an adult after all. How can you let yourself be influenced by your small-minded parents?”). It is often more beneficial if the coachee inches towards this position unaided.

“So would it still be possible to change jobs?” I would like to know and watch how Kautner’s eyes briefly light up.

“Yes, it would be,” he concedes hesitantly. “But I could stay here and become a director. Although the post would only become free in several years – and in any case, whether I get it or not is in the stars.”

“Let’s imagine that you are a director. What could you do that you are unable to do at the moment?”

“I could finally, finally really change things. That’s what I want to do! I would like other people to value my ideas, be grateful for them, want to hear what I have to say and discuss my thoughts with me in order to plan how to implement them. And as director I would be able to drive things forward and carry them through”.

70% of all decisions are made by gut instinct

Subsequently, we discuss this option in greater detail. It is clear, firstly, that my coachee will have to be prepared for a long wait and secondly, that his promotion prospects are not even guaranteed. So we also examine other career paths within the company. In the end, it becomes clear that we are really only considering two options: to leave or to stay. I label two little cards, one for leaving and one for staying, and give Erik Kautner one in his right and one in his left hand. “Imagine that your hands are a set of scales. The hand containing the option that is stronger and more meaningful to you can now slowly sink down.” He closes his eyes, holding his hands firstly side-by-side, until his right hand holding the card steadily and clearly descends.

A strange technique? Current research says that 70% of all decisions are made by gut instinct and only after that are they rationalised by the mind. This happens so quickly that usually we are unaware of the process and think that we have made a reasoned decision. But for once, let’s give our subconscious the chance to speak directly to us, for example with this image of the scales. When we attain a clear result, we first need to ask ourselves how we feel. And then we can apply our mind and analyse this option thoroughly before making the final decision.

A career change takes shape

At this point, Erik Kautner gives me a clear indication of how he feels about this result as he says smilingly, “It’s the LEAVING option.”

“You seem pleased about that…,” I comment. He nods. “Recently, I have been doing some internet research on which interesting consultancy firms are currently on the market. Among these are two that support companies which are in crisis and on the verge of bankruptcy.” Eyes shining, he explains to me that precisely his expertise and training predestine him for this kind of consultancy. He tells me enthusiastically how he helped to get a university friend back on his feet after the latter foundered shortly after inheriting his father’s company. “I would really enjoy that. I could shake things up!”

Having discussed this possibility for a while, I ask, “And what would your parents say about that?” Sometimes it is good to play devil’s advocate in order to put your coachee through their paces. Will he really go through with his new resolution? And in fact Erik Kautner’s euphoria really does seem to deflate a little. Nevertheless, he sticks to his guns.

“Hm, they’ll have to accept it. They’ll have to put up with it.” At this point, we return to practice and, with the aid of another role play, test how he is going to convey his decision to his parents. After a few attempts, he finds the right words and is also able to deal well with their possible reactions. Even so, he only wishes to hold this conversation when the new job is as good as guaranteed.

Finally, as we say our goodbyes, I advise my coachee, “Sleep on it for a night or two and then see if everything still feels right after that.”

“I’ll do that,” he promises. “And I’ll keep you up to date!”

Three months later I receive an email:

“Hello dear Mrs Blau, I hope you are well. I can assure you that almost all aspects of our conversations are constantly on my mind. In particular, I wanted to let you know that I am leaving the company and starting a job with a small consultancy firm. I am very excited about my new post. Best wishes and many thanks again, Erik Kautner.”

(from: “Denkpausen”, edition Nr. 7, September 2009, published by Management School St. Gallen)

A manager’s success is very strongly linked to the personal impression he makes. How does he manage to win over others to his goals, how much does he influence his employees’ motivation, how convincingly is he able to present his ideas?

An interview with Lydia Thea Blau about her seminar “Personal Performance”

Denkpausen: Mrs Blau, let’s use plain speech! What is “Personal Performance”?

Lydia Thea Blau: It simply means the personal impression one makes and also the effectiveness of one’s personality: how do I come across and how effectively or efficiently do I communicate with others? It’s about one’s impact on others, presence, powers of persuasion and authority in the most diverse situations. Others aren’t only convinced by professional competence but also and primarily by personality.

So are we talking about communication training?

Not just that. In contrast to classical rhetoric training or communication training, particular emphasis is laid on the non-verbal aspect that determines a person’s impact. For instance, if I say, “I’m feeling marvellous!” but roll my eyes and pull down the corners of my mouth, then the credibility of my assertion will diminish because the main message isn’t transferred through my words but through my body language.

Scientists have discovered that the impression we make on others is formed up to 90% by HOW and only around 10% by WHAT we say…

Exactly. And the seminar deals with this enigmatic HOW. I train the participants in a new form of body awareness so that they are in a position to perceive and consciously direct their body language signals and the impression these make. Incidentally, these exercises for “self-control” originate mainly from drama training. I take care to ensure that everyone always remains faithful to their natural range of expression and develops their own, individual form of persuasiveness. Something that appears convincing in one person can seem artificial and insincere in another.

So we are learning drama techniques. Where is the authenticity in that?

Being authentic means reconciling three areas: what I feel inside, how much of this I am aware of and which parts I allow to be visible on the outside. Drama techniques enable participants to make their voice and body flexible. They can make more conscious choices about what they display outwardly and how, without leaving their comfort zones.

Can authenticity be extended?

When I practise saying something with a certain means of expression which I have not used before, the first impression it makes on me and my environment can be oddly artificial. However, the more I practise, the more I can internalise this new behaviour so that soon it forms part of my natural and spontaneous repertoire and makes a completely authentic impression…

...thus turning learning steps into automatic responses?

Isn’t this generally the process by which we learn something new? In a first driving lesson, driving a car is a strenuous business because we have to pay attention to so many things. The more we practise, the less we have to think and the faster and more natural our reactions become.

And can we apply this to new modes of behaviour?

Yes, to some extent. It’s impossible to completely change somebody’s ways. But it is possible to extend anybody’s range of expression and behaviour by activating parts of the personality that already exist but have been neglected thus far. Because of this, some participants also suddenly discover new sides to their personality. Often this is accompanied by a further aspect that takes most people by surprise: if I change something external, such as straightening my posture, this also influences what is happening internally. I feel more confident, I can breathe more deeply and think more clearly. So we don’t just work on the way our means of expression manifests itself externally but also on the inner attitude, on the way we deal with emotions and stress. In doing so, we work as much from the outside inwards as vice versa.

Could you explain that, please?

Our mindset alters as soon as we change our posture and body language, because both are linked. Alternatively, a new inner sense of direction or a new attitude alters our external means of expression.

Which themes do the participants bring to a seminar?

Personal Performance Training is relevant to presentations, meetings, negotiations and difficult conversations. It optimises the ways in which one should proceed in order to achieve one’s goals. The participants usually come with specific concerns, such as lack of confidence when giving a presentation or when holding an important conversation with a client. Some would also like to know how to be more assertive with their superiors or staff. Others would like tips on playing a more active part in meetings and making their presence felt.

You talk about “being present in performance”

This means consciously using space and time when presenting something to a group. I train people in how to relieve stage-fright, build and maintain suspense and actively control their audience’s attention. To do this, we use a few traditional acting techniques that are very easy to learn and produce a very incisive effect. Then we deal specifically with examples from the daily working lives of the participants. We work with individuals on their public persona and how to reach the goals they have set themselves.

Does the verbal aspect also come into play at this point?

Yes. So we don’t just work with body language and tone of voice but also on the finer details of verbalisation. The words we use also form part of the impression we make on others. Sometimes working on somebody’s inner or outer stance has the effect that he or she finds the right words more easily.

Which other themes crop up in the Personal Performance Seminar?

I am often asked how participants can control their emotions in difficult situations. For this, there are a few wonderfully quick and effective techniques which are helpful when somebody feels flustered. Depending on the participants’ interests, we may also discuss modes of behaviour and etiquette. Who greets whom first? Who is addressed in which way? Participants also often express an interest in the subject of small-talk. I also offer exercises which train the ability to react: these come from improvisational theatre.

How do participants cope with the demands of the seminar? Do some feel inhibited?

I sometimes have inhibited participants in my seminars. I place great value on establishing an atmosphere of trust; also, participation in all exercises is purely voluntary. Because of this, inhibitions gradually dissipate. If time allows at the end, we sometimes have a “treat” in the form of a drama exercise with real roles. Suddenly, and to everyone’s amazement, the silent, reserved customer advisor gives an enthusiastic and unexpectedly convincing performance as a charismatic showmaster! However, for me the most important thing is that all participants take home tips and behavioural options for specific concerns, enhance their awareness of their personal impact and extend their scope of action.

(from “Denkpausen”, edition Nr. 1, November 2006, published by Management School St. Gallen)